All Things That Matters
by untoldwords
Summary: My take of "All Things" - one of my favorite episodes ever. I really like the way how Gillian was trying to depict the emotions of Scully. I always appreciated the love and friendship between Scully and Mulder and think that this is a great base to bring it furthermore to a whole new level.
1. Not this Moment

\- My take of "All Things" - one of my favorite episodes ever. I really like the way how Gillian was trying to depict the emotions of Scully. I always appreciated the love and friendship between Scully and Mulder and think that this is a great base to bring it furthermore to a whole new level. I do NOT own any of the characters NOR the script for any of original "The X files" episodes but would like to thank FOX and Gillian Anderson for this amazing episode.

\- This is my second fanfic. Enjoy!

 _Time passes in moments which rushing past define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path- to see the reasons why all things happen. To consider whether the path we take in life is our own making, or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed. But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? And seeing those choices, choose another path._

 **Prologue: This story evolves right after Scully leaves Daniel (for good). But she finds herself broken and scattered to many pieces. Mulder had not returned home yet and feeling desperate without having anyone close by to share her thoughts and to offer her any comfort, she decides to have a drink to ease her mind; which she instantly realizes as a very bad choice.**

Dana Scully instantly regretted her decision of having a drink after the unpleasant dizziness and the nauseous feeling hit her more quickly than she thought. She just had three shots and to her surprise, it was more than enough to alert her that she needed some assistance to even to walk out of the bar.

 _Maybe like all those years, the FBI has really changed her capabilities in all the ways!_ She thought to herself.

The droopy effect of alcohol has just put another dimension to her pain and heartache. The entire bar seems to be floating to her and she sat tight and covered her face with her hands so that she didn't see the uncanny faces of strangers looking at her at this unusual hour. She needed someone to help her out. She was always strong and capable to lead her own life, but for some reason, the whole incident with Daniel has made a lapse in her tightly shielded life and things seem to be slipping out of her control now.

The intimate feeling of meeting Daniel over the past couple of days was causing her more pain than she imagined. Meeting him always, caused her to stop and re-think of her decisions. All those years ago, meeting Daniel blinded her with an unconventional romance. But now it was a completely life-changing coincidence that had lead her to an unbearable desperateness about her own life choices. His words were still lingering in her years.

His vision of her own life gave her an unbearable emptiness within; after all the years chasing for monsters and looking out for the truth, only this unintended meeting with Daniel had made her realize that she want a life, a normal life, a life to be cherished and touched – especially a one that she should be having at this very moment of her life.

 _You have a life._

 _I don't know what I have. Your X rays were in the wrong envelope. I_ never would _have even known you were here if it wasn't for a mix-up._

 _It's just- [ Sighs ] What do you want, Dana?_

 _I want everything I should want at this time of my life. Maybe I want a life I didn't choose._

She was mesmerized by his calmness. He was stubborn with his own decisions, so was she. His mature self was a lot for her to explore and embrace as a young medical student. They were madly in love beyond all the obstructions which held them apart. Her family, his family, the faculty and basically everybody around them strictly disapproved their romance, but somehow it grew wildly each day each time they met secretly. She hardly recalled those memories, but today it started replaying in front of her eyes and she felt herself too weak to control herself or to distract her. Daniel was a firm lover. He was mature than her and she felt safe in his embrace, usually on his dark office room. The familiar smell of his old books and his woody perfume was so well blended with her life.

She needed someone to share her burden, someone to console her, tell her that she did the right thing and to assure her that everything is ok. She missed Melissa, again blaming her own self for the consequences that has caused by her own life choices.

Suddenly, a wave of nausea brought her back to the present. She breathed deeply, the dizziness is now getting more and more intense and she knew she would be in a greater trouble this Friday night if she didn't go home soon. She managed to peep in to her wrist watch to have a clear glimpse of time; it was all blurred, making her headache worse.

 _Mulder..-_ She whispered. She remembered he was out of town for his crop circle investigation, which didn't make sense to her at all. Thanks to her "drink" she couldn't even clearly recall when he would be back. The only option she had was to call him thinking that at least he would drive her home, if he had come home. Despite her greatest embarrassment and shame of letting him find her in such a flimsy state, she pulled her phone out with shaky hands.


	2. Take me Home

Mulder was trying hard to settle onto his couch at this late hour. He had a quick glance at his wristwatch and it read 2.05am. He has come home about an hour ago and still, the stiffness of his back was bothering him. He cursed the cheap domestic flight for not being so reasonable to its passengers. It was a short flight for his hometown but the uncomfortable seat and his own bad posture has given him a stiff back and he was still suffering hours after the flight.

He wondered what Scully might be doing, _it was anyway too late to wake her up_ , he thought. She seemed to be distracted and annoyed over the past few days. Finding out the fact that he was totally deceived about the crop circles would make her annoyed furthermore. Already munching a handful of sunflower seeds, he took a sip from his cold beer and closed his eyes. He needed to relax and clear his mind of the guilty feeling that he has gotten since learning that he has been tricked on the case. Just then, out of nowhere his phone began to ring.

 _Scully_ – he read the caller ID on the phone, he was surprised as he immediately answered the call.

 _Hey Scully.._ His voice was kind of in the middle of a surprised and a much eager tone.

 _I came back a few hours ago and I didn't want to wake you up. Besides, I know this would not be the ideal topic for me to wake up at this hour.._ He chuckled, trying to picture her annoyed face on the other side of the line.

 _Mulder..I.I..._ she was trying to put it in but the instead she found herself trembling, unable to find the words.

It didn't take a second for Mulder to realize that something is terribly wrong, a sudden chill sprang across his spine and he stood up almost reaching for the entrance.

 _Scully – talk to me, r u ok – can you hear me?_ Her background noise was distracting him and it was loud. He was trying to figure out where the hell she has been.

 _Mulder.._ She spoke after a brief pause. _I'm ok. I guess..but…_

Her voice was strange, he thought. It sounded "funny" but he knew her so perfectly and this was not an hour for her to put a funny act or something, which she would hardly do even during day time!

 _Scully tell me..Where are you..just don't stop talking_.. He was demanding helplessly.

 _I think I need your help_.. She managed and just them a loud hiccup went out, letting the phone drop off from her weak grip. _Fuck!_

He heard her saying that despite the distractions on the background, he knew she dropped the phone when he heard the bang when it hit on the ground.

 _I'm coming to you, just stay on the line -_ She heard his firm voice commanding her as if she was a tenth grader who has not done her homework. But it was too late to reason out and she was too buzzed to speak. She picked up the phone with her trembling hands and collapsed onto the table, trying hard to listen and to concentrate on Mulder's words.


	3. Just Take Me Home

It didn't take long for Mulder to find the familiar redhead within the crowded bar, she has mentioned that she was sitting in a table to the left, but he was not surprised to find her on the right instead. He was worried, desperate and furious all at once, but for her sake, he managed to control his own self as he stepped closer to her.

 _Hey..Scully.._ He slowly whispered as he sat beside her, leaning towards to see her face in response.

She was all silent, which bothered him.

 _Scully..It's me..hey..._ His hand gently reached her shoulder while he spoke.

She gasped and stirred, pulling away the wild strands of hair that covered her face, as if she was waking up from a deep sleep. Her eyes widened to find him sitting next to her.

He was relieved to find her safe and this unusual messy look of hers made him laugh silently, but he was cautious not to reveal it to her.

 _Are you armed?_ He asked her slowly.

 _What? Am I armed?_ Her voice was high enough to seek the attention of a few fellow drinkers. He winked and gave a friendly wave at them, without making the situation worse.

 _I asked whether you are armed!_ He responded aggressively with a firm tone while reaching out to her waist looking out for her weapon. His hands lightly brushed against her warm skin where her woolen top has crumpled against her blazer. He took a deep breath to clear up his mind.

 _You should be thanking GOD for keeping you safe while you go and drink like crazy with a loaded weapon..believe me!_ His tone was rather concerned as he carefully took off her loaded gun and shoved it in his own pocket. 

_I'm sorry..I..I just..just drive me home Mulder. I will be OK –_ Her tone was broken and apologetic. She was avoiding his gaze but then he grasped her tightly in his arms. It didn't take him too long to realize that she was in tears.

 _Hey.._ he reached and wrapped his arms around her.

 _It's ok..you are safe now..._ He assured her with a gentle kiss on her forehead.

He held her tightly until they reached the parking lot. He needed an explanation but he knew this was not the right moment as she got onto the passenger seat almost shaking and trembling within his tight embrace.


	4. Right Here With Me

Their ride back home was not a smooth one. Scully was silent in her own world trying to cope with her own consequences. Mulder kept a close eye on her, ensuring that she was ok. The silence between them was deeper and louder than any fight they have fought. He knew that she needs her own time to open up herself and kept silent until they drove home.

She didn't even bother to look around which way he was driving. She was surprised to see he has parked her car at his parking lot, but she was too weak to talk back or to question.

She was relieved to reach home, his home. He helped her to settle onto his couch. She leaned against the throw cushions on the familiar couch, slipping off her shoes and stretching her legs across his coffee table. Still, her eye was closed but she seemed pretty much calm now, he thought to himself, so much more than when he found her at the bar.

 _Scully, Here…_ He spoke to her gently while sitting down next to her. He grabbed a throw and covered her. He was afraid to touch her, thinking that she would get offensive or misunderstand him for some reason. But within his mind the craved impatiently to talk to her and to know all the reasons behind her odd behavior.

 _Can I get you some water? Or a drink…maybe some ibuprofen? Scully Just talk to me! –_ His voice was calm and gentle now as they are safe at home.

She nodded in response, rejecting his request.

 _I just feel dizzy and sick. I think the elevator, it just..umm..I think I need to use the bathroom. Oh GOD_ – it was all she could manage until she started to throw up violently. He held her close and helped her to his bathroom. Despite her refusal, he held her until she felt relieved, gently stroking her back and chest.

 _Let me get you some water, just sit on the floor and don't move till I come –_ His voice was a hush as if he was calming down a little one. She nodded in response, leaning against the toilet; she closed her eyes in relief.

It didn't take him long to come back with a glass of cold water. He watched her gulping down the water with relief.

 _You will be ok..._ He whispered and hugged her tightly. He helped her on her feet while clinging her tightly to his embrace.

 _I feel much better now...Thank you..._ She managed a few words. Their eyes met for a brief moment as she lifted her chin towards him. She felt terribly ashamed and broken. Overwhelmed with desperateness she buried her face into his chest.

 _Oh Jesus!_ It took her a while to realize the mess she has made. His gray t-shirt was dirty with her vomit and her entire self-was a mess.

 _I think we both need a change..._ He read her mind at the same moment as he responded with a gentle tone.

 _Let me get you something…I hope you wouldn't mind borrowing something from the FBI's most unwanted for a single night..._ He was chuckling as he left the bathroom.

To her relief and surprise, Scully started to feel much better. But still she was recovering from the shock, she looked around his bathroom, trying to settle down. The entire incident has caused a mess and she felt terrible seeing her own vomit-covered self through the dark bathroom mirror. Things are so out of control that she will have to wear his clothes and may to sleep on his couch as well. She sighed with a great disappointment.

Just then, Mulder returned with a couple of T-Shirts.

 _Here u go.._ He handed them over to her. _I think, pretty much one of them will do the job for you..._

He leaned into her face and looked into her eyes for a brief second, trying not to make her feel uncomfortable.

 _Just drop whatever your stuff in the bin, I anyway have to run the washer tonight… and…don't lock the door…I swear I wouldn't break in uninvited!_

He left the bathroom, closing the door behind.

She was lost in her own thoughts as she stripped down. It has been a long night for her. She looked at her pale face while pulling the unruly strands of hair behind her ears. Her makeup was all faded and she clearly needed a shower to refresh herself, both mentally and physically.


	5. Breaking Free

Mulder waited impatiently till she stepped out from the bathroom. He was keeping a close eye for any sign that she might need him inside while he cleaned the messed up room to a much "presentable" manner for his obsessive partner.

He stripped off his dirty t-shirt and sat on the bed, trying to figure out what had gone wrong with his usual skeptical partner. His mind was busy laying out reasons when he heard the bathroom door opened slowly. He slowly stood up with a faint smile after seeing her on his faded t-shirt. It was quite a fit for her small frame, stopping few inches above her knees, she looked sexy with her damp hair and blushed face, he thought.

 _Here comes the power woman of the Hoover Basement…looking sexy as ever…_ He chuckled as he reached her.

She smiled, knowing that she was blushing as she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks. Seeing his shirtless, well built-masculine torso gave her shivers today for some reason. She ignored her own body language, blaming and holding the alcohol responsible for it all. She looked at him with guilt, hoping that he wouldn't notice her feelings.

 _The bed is all for you..you need a good rest..._ He was warm and caring and he respected her with all his heart.

 _I will take the couch –_ He responded quickly, figuring out the next question which is about to spill from her mouth.

 _No..no Mulder..I can manage it on the couch...Please_

 _I'm fit and fine now..you really don't have to do this –_ She was begging him.

She truly didn't expect such a kindness from him, especially after all that has happened. It caused a great pain in her heart to find him so generous, and on the other hand with all the embarrassment, she didn't really care whether she really had to sleep on a bed, couch or on the floor at all.

He gently caressed her cheek taking care not to get too close to her as still, he was dirty and stinky.

 _I sleep on the couch most of the days – believe me...I wouldn't even miss the bed._

 _Just have some rest now, I can see that we both have had awful days – Holy shit..I didn't tell you that I was tricked with this entire crop circle thing, didn't I?_

 _No.._ She smiled - _I was not so in a sober state to ask you even Mulder, what happened?_ Her eyes locked in his gaze.

He nodded, smiling back at her in return.

 _I guess I was caught up in their plan from the beginning. No evidence, witnesses or whatsoever and completely a waste of time. Nothing!_ He sighed

 _By looking at you, I can say that you had a pretty remarkable day!_ His voice was a whisper, he desperately wanted to know, but at the same time, he was afraid to push her on it.

 _Maybe sometimes nothing happens for a reason, Mulder._

 _What is that supposed to mean?_

 _Nothing._

 _Let's talk about my day later – I have already troubled you enough – you need a rest too. Besides, trust me, I know it's not much of an interesting story for you as a crop circle._

Her tone was almost crushed, and he felt as if she was fighting hard to hold back her tears. There were only a very few times he had found her broken and fragile like this.

He was disappointed. But he believed in her more than anything else.

 _Just let me know if you ever want to talk.. you know that I'm always ready right?_ Their foreheads brushed against each other. For a moment they were lost in their own little world.

 _Yeah.._ She said softly while breaking up from his warmth.

She smiled at him gently before he stepped towards the bathroom. Deep inside her, the burning flame Daniel had lit with their memories, started to blaze.


	6. Just Go Agead

She tossed and turned on his bed, trying to get some sleep. She was tired. Thanks to the warm shower now the dizziness and headache was almost gone. But she was restless within. His bed was comfortable and warm and she was surrounded by his familiar scent. She looked around in the dark, at his room. The door was already closed. She pretended to be fast asleep when he left the room after his shower, closing the door silently.

The bedside clock read 3.42am. Even time seems to be dragging today. She sighed. Her heart was heavy with pain. Mulder must be fast asleep, she thought.

Back on the couch, Mulder was trying hard to figure out what made Scully's day this bad, bad enough for her to go alone to a crowded bar and to drink like a coward. He sighed, munching handfuls of sunflower seeds. She was not assigned to any case while he was away, so he knew there is a very slight chance for her to get pissed off by an alien or a criminal. On the other hand she was never that outgoing person to hangout or to be dumped by anyone at the bureau. At least skinner would have told him in that case. More than anything he knew her so well and he would have felt if she is having any trouble or any concern that she needs his help.

She might be asleep, he thought. Almost jumping out of the couch, he headed towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water. The whole apartment was dark and silent, but his mind was not. He wanted to check on her, just to see whether she is ok and asleep. He slowly opened the bedroom door, a part of him wishing that she would be awake at this odd hour.

Scully was deeply engrossed in her thoughts to hear him open the door. But the faint figure of Mulder in the dark room scared her to death.

 _Jesus! Mulder is that you?_ She almost sat on the bed, panting deeply trying to calm her down.

He quickly reached and turned on the bedside lamp.

 _I'm sorry,_ the look on his face was apologetic. _I.. I just wanted to check whether you are ok.._

He sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard. _I found it difficult to sleep.._ He whispered staring at the ceiling, turning his head in the end to meet her eyes.

She nodded, _its ok..I was awake too.._ She gave a pale smile to him.

 _I guess it is the same thing that bothers us both._ He whispered, with his eyes closed.

 _Yea..may be-_ her tone was very low and was almost a hush

 _But..you will find it hard to believe, trust me Mulder_ , _I just..I just find it hard to find where to start_.. She smiled to herself, her eyes shining with warm tears.

 _Don't just tell me that you fucked the skin-headed man!_ He chuckled, trying to ease the pressure between the two of them.

She chuckled too, _Come over here..._ she signed, patting the pillow on her lap _. Its gonna be a long night…rather a morning now I guess!_

He curled on her lap, feeling comfortable as ever. He closed his eyes for the comfort of her warmth. He could recall the times she used to hold her, saving him from unknown monsters. Her heart was beating too fast, he thought.

He was lost in a muddle of thoughts when he felt her fingers caressing his hair. For a moment, he thought, he is gonna die, but he remained silent and calm. He needed to know her story!

 _You ok?_ Her voice was much relaxed now.

He nodded, in return. _Just go ahead..._


	7. All Things Everything

Note: I found a few typos and mistakes and have fixed those. Added a few new lines for a nicer ending.

She was relieved that Mulder was not rationalizing her reasons and decisions. To her surprise he was much silent than she expected, but with an occasional joke or two. She felt as if the heavy burden she carried in her heart was slowly dissolving, bringing her much needed relief. But deep inside her the disappointment and the failure laid.

Mulder was surprised, by learning on this hidden facade of Scully's life. He really knew her as a person with a very little or no social attraction. He never cared how many boyfriends, dates or lovers she has had on the past, but learning the fact that meeting Daniel has made her rethink her life choices gave him a sense of jealousy and also guilt for forgetting that she is a woman made of flesh and blood and feelings.

His mind was uneasy, flashes of her beloved partner with a much older man, sharing a wild romance kept burning him. He closed his eyes tightly and covered them with his hand. She was still engrossed in her story, putting down word by word carefully, with sighs and deep breaths.

He knew clearly that he loved her by all his heart; though his attempts to express the same have failed miserably a few times. And even though the dawn on the New Year brought them much emotionally closer with a not so usual kiss, they were never so eager to keep it up to bypass that comfort zone of being best friends.

He had his reasons; she had gone through a lot, a lot more than anybody he knew. Part of him held him responsible for her life, the losses of her life, and he was afraid to ask for more.

 _l just find it hard to believe._

 _What part?_

 _The part where I go away for two days, your whole life changes –_ His voice was merely a hush. He pulled away the pillow between him and her lap and cuddled it tightly.

 _I didn't say my whole life changed – I…I don't know Mulder… I once considered spending my whole life with this man –_ Despite her desperate struggle to hold it up, tears were flowing down her cheeks. _What I would have missed.._ she held a deep breath, slowly wiping away her tears.

 _I don't think you can know._ _I mean, how many different lives would we be leading if we made different choices? We- We don't know_ -Mulder's voice was comforting. He turned to her, gazing at her eyes, looking for her response.

 _What if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong and there were signs along the way to pay attention to?_ She Sighed. Emptiness covered her entire self.

 _Then all the choices would then lead to this very moment. One wrong turn and we wouldn't be sitting here together..and that..That says a lot! –_ He sat on the bed, facing her and his pillow still crumpled on his lap.

 _What do you think of us_ Scully? Why would all these reasons bring us together? He was rather sharp, his eyes locked in hers. He never knew the right moment to bring up this question. But tonight he was rather impatient with all the delusions that that kept flashing in his mind.

He felt the sudden glint in her teary eyes. _Oh ..Mulder…_ she was desperately avoiding his eyes.

His hand reached her, gently stroking her cheek with indisputable affection.

 _Why now?_ She was trembling, and was crying again, without knowing what to say more.

 _I just want to know…You know that I just don't care of anything from your past or the choices that you have made..._ He lied to her for one of the very few times of his life. He wished that he really did indeed, but his heart longed so long to know what was in her heart. He was grateful that she had the courage to refuse Daniel for some reason.

He held her hands, slowly and gently, giving her full freedom to pull away if needed. She held him tightly. It was a brief moment of silence. He gently kissed the top of her head and rested his forehead against hers.

 _Mulder… she sighed with a deep breath._ She desperately fought for words _For better or worse, the time I spent with you is the best time of my life… I wish that I... – her voice was broken and weak._ _I'm a barren woman Mulder and I don't have much to offer in my life… But you have a life ahead of you.. A life that I would never be able to give you at any chance.._

Their eyes met as she managed to spill out the last few words. _What if this is the life we are destined to have, what if this is what all the signs would have directed us to?_ _What if this is all that I'm asking from you Scully? –_ He whispered as he reached her, cupping her face gently in his hands. She reached for him and held his hands tightly while their eyes murmuring a thousand of words of a pious love.

He slowly kissed her lips, slowly and gently as if to feel that it's not a dream that they are dreaming, breaking away only when they were struggling to breathe. They were panting against each other in a tight embrace. Just then he took her hand, kissing her knuckles softly. _You are all what I want in my life .._ He whispered in the gentlest tone and kissed his forehead with her heartfelt admiration and love.

It didn't take long for another kiss to bring them together, one after the other each kiss growing intense and intimate than ever. Soon they were lost in their own whirlwind of romance. They had years of love to share and savor. Their kisses were healing tiniest of scars they found on each other. He loved how she called his name under her breath. _You are amazing…_ he wished that was able to say something far more desirable when he pulled away the only piece of clothing that covered her.

 _I Love you Scully.._ he managed finally looking deep in to her eyes... _I love you too Mulder_ …she hushed with a gently smile.

 _*65 minutes later_

Scully woke up to the numbness on her left-side which has already caused her left foot to tingle slightly. She smiled alone to find a sleeping Mulder on her, his fingers still curled on hers. His head was buried comfortably between her breasts. She shifted herself slowly without waking him up, just to make herself comfortable.

Life is strange – she thought. Maybe he is true, _what if this is the life we are destined to have, what if this is what all the signs would have directed us to?_ His words are still echoing in her mind. She looked at him, the perfectly kind hearted, undoubtedly faithful, undeniably annoying human, she choose to love and to be loved by. She stroked his hair gently, glancing at the table clock. It will be morning soon, but today it won't matter as they have all the time in the world. She slowly reached and turned off the bedside lamp and covered both of them snugly with the duvet before settling down to a relaxed sleep.


End file.
